Friday, August 04, 2006

grace under fire...

Apparently I don't have much of the above mentioned characteristic. No, this is not some sarcastic remark. It's something I have been thinking quite a bit about. This lack comes down to two of my other characteristics, which can sometimes be a blessing and sometimes definitely the opposite. Firstly, I am loyal. This plays out in many different ways--staying in a job that is physically too hard on my body because I don't want to let down my boss, letting my anger rise probably too quickly when someone attacks my husband in any way, holding tenaciously to my point of view even when I'm wrong. These sorts of things generally aren't the good side of my loyalty. However, if you are a friend you may already know that you can always count on me to stand by your side, no matter what. If you are an employer, you know that I will work hard even to my physical detriment.

My other trait (which is often a flaw) is that I don't do well with blunt criticism. This is due to many factors which I cannot (and should not) go into here. Let it be said that I know I need slightly thicker skin. This trait of mine gets me in trouble because if someone wounds me with their words, I often react like a hurt animal--lashing out--or simply ignoring what has been said. Obviously this is not a good thing, but I recognize it in myself nonetheless.

So, you may ask, why am I baring this part of myself to the cyber world? What reason might I have for sharing all of this with you, who may be friend or total stranger? Well, if you look at some of my earlier posts, you will see that one has been revised. In this post I was more than insensitive and pointed my finger accusingly when I should have just stayed silent. I have revised that post because I've done a lot of thinking since I first published it. Much of this thinking is because of my anonymous cyber "brother." At first, when I read his (or her, I'm sorry I don't know even that) comment to my post I was quite angry and upset. But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that he is more right than I was.

Thus, I have revised the post and I invite you to read what God has been doing in me since it was originally put on this blog. I have also cut out the part that Anonymous commented on. This is still accesible under comments for that post, should you desire to read it.

Here is where I would like to thank anonymousblogcomments for giving me a prod and helping me to realize that I am not always right. Thank you for reminding me that I need to be more like Christ and less like a Pharisee. Thank you for caring enough to comment at all, knowing that your voice may or may not be heard. I take back what I said in my original post--that shows quite a bit of courage.

May you be blessed with people who keep you humble and be continually shaped and molded by our wonderful and merciful Lord.


anonymousblogcomments said...

Wow. Thank you. It's hard sometimes being a tool that God uses, because you feel...well, like a tool. Thanks again!

Carrie said...

Hi Friend! I'm really proud of you. This shows tremendous spiritual growth and humility. Much love, & miss you!